Don't Do That!
by kinseyjo
Summary: [oneshot songfic] Deep in Denialville, tryin' a fight the way I feel... I go jello when you smile...


A/N: This is a little challenge Sam and I gave each other – I gave her a song that I LOVE (PS – go read Sam's "Just Once." Fab song, fab story!! At publishing it isn't up yet, but it will be tonight. Or I'll be beating her)!!! Anyway, I promised her I'd get this up by Wednesday if she totally rocked the hell out of Just Once. So here it is!!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me!

--

He's doing it again. Nothing. Just. Being. God I hate it when he does that. Stands there all… him. Bastard.

For eight years, I've been trying to deny the way I react to Elliot Stabler. Obviously, to quote my best friend Casey, I suck. Because damn. Whenever he's in the room? I get stupid. He smiles at me? I can barely remember my name. And if he touches me? Oh. It's all over but the cryin', sister.

For example: right now, I'm sitting at my desk, surrounded by files and urgent "please call me back" messages, but I'm just chillin' in lala land, watching Elliot chew thoughtfully on a pen. God. I sound ridiculous! I think the way he slobbers up my good bics is _thoughtful_? I need to get laid. P-ronto.

"Liv," he says, as if he's said my name half a dozen times. It shakes me out of my lecherous fantasies.

"Yeah!" my head snaps up. _Smooth, Benson. Real smooth._

He leans over my desk, pen sticking out of his mouth and gets thisclose to my ear. "I asked if you wanted to run away to Jamaica and have sex on the beach."

"What?!" I ask, shooting out of my chair as he laughs heartily.

"Relax. I was kidding," he says loud enough for everyone around us to hear. I roll my eyes dig in my purse for cash to get a bottle of water. "Unless you really want to," he whispers, teasing me with a wink.

See what I mean? What a rotten bastard.

_Deep in Denialville  
Tryin' a' fight the way I feel  
I go jello when you smile  
I start blushin'-my head rushin'_

A few minutes later, we're in the car outside the courthouse, waiting to go talk to Casey. "What's got you so damn edgy lately?" he asks, reaching over to rub my shoulder, which causes me to immediately tense up.

"Nothing. I'm not edgy. Why would you ask that?" I question suspiciously.

"Because you were totally not with me earlier, and when I made a harmless comment, you leaped away from me like I lit you on fire."

_Oh, if you only knew._

"Harmless, hell, Elliot! You asked me if I wanted to sleep with you!"

"Wrong, detective. I asked you if you wanted to go to Jamaica and have sex on the beach."

"Same difference!"

"Who's to say I wasn't talking about the drink?"

"Oh like hell you were!" I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the car, jogging up the steps to the courthouse. He caught up to me in a few easy (not to mention sexy) strides, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Stop. Touching. Me." I managed to grind the command out between my clenched teeth.

He backed away slowly. "Are you pissed at me about something?"

"No, El, I'm not," I tried to smile. "I just need some space, okay?"

He nodded quietly and backed off. "Sure thing."

I hated treating him like this, but damn. I just have days that I can't handle him being so close. He breathes wrong and I'm damn near orgasming. And that's just not very professional.

I practically sprint ahead of him to Casey's office, and she raises an eyebrow at me when I blow in the door, several steps ahead of Elliot. "Well hey, honey, I was excited to see you too," she grins.

"Case. I'm losing my mind."

"Indeed. Elliot problems?"

"Big ones. Orgasm sized."

"Oh dear. Did you guys…"

"No! No, of course not. But what I would do to that man…"

Just then, Elliot walks in, a puzzled expression marring his handsome features. "Hey Case."

"Elliot," she nods, shooting me a glance that tells me we'll continue our discussion later.

"We need a warrant," he says, and proceeds to explain the particulars to her, the whole while standing not a foot away from me. Oh now he's just doing it on purpose.

_If you stand too close to me  
I might melt down from the heat  
If ya' look my way one more time  
I'm gonna go out of my mind  
Whatever you do..._

Later that night, I'm in the kitchen pulling lasagna out of the oven when my cell phone rings. "Beh-hon," I answer, a test bite of the lasagna scalding my mouth.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Hey, Case," I say after a long swallow of milk. "Ugh, I just burned the shit out of my mouth on a bite of lasagna."

"You okay?"

"Fine, what's up?"

"Well, speaking of burning things. What's the rest of the Elliot story from earlier?"

"No shit speaking of burning things. God, Case, what am I going to do? I mean I've always been attracted to him, but shit. It's starting to get a little ridiculous!"

"Well what's the deal?"

"I don't know," I whine. "It sorta started when I got back from Oregon and whore-face had gotten him to start wearing jeans and polos and Henleys all the time," I say, referring to his temp, Dani Beck – the slut who'd tried to move in on my man.

"And what? He was just all of a sudden sexier? You've seen him in jeans and a polo, Liv. I think you were really worried about _whore-face_ as you so sweetly call her. You realized how much he meant to you. As _more_ than a partner."

Well my best friend's nothing if not intuitive. "Probably," I admit guiltily.

"And you didn't want to lose him," she continues.

"Okay, you're done talking if you're just going to sit there and read my mind," I tease.

"Hey, what are best friends for? I know you."

"Yeah, yeah. So what the fuck do I do?"

"I don't know, Sissy," she sighs, using the term of endearment all of us girls use for each other. We both sit quietly and ponder the situation until a loud pounding on my door breaks into our easy silence. I stalk to the door, ready to tell nasty Mrs. Gilles for the thirty-eighth time that I can't cat-sit for her this weekend. I glance out the peephole and momentarily stop breathing.

"Shit. Shit shit," I whisper. "Casey, Elliot is here," I breathe quietly. "What am I going to do? Tell me! Hurry!"

"I don't know! Shit! Good luck, Babe. Let me know how it goes!"

"Gah! I hate you! Goodbye!" I whine, slamming the phone shut and dropping it on the hall table.

"Liv, answer the door!" Elliot calls.

I swing the door open to find him in the hall, poised to knock again.

"What, were you expecting someone?" he asks.

"No."

"Are you going to let me in?"

"Come in," I say quietly, stepping back, my mind reeling the whole time trying to concoct a plan.

"It smells great in here," he compliments.

"Lasagna," I say curtly.

"Liv, what's the deal with you? Seriously. Tell me," he requests, following me into the living room.

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant, even though my voice escalates an octave.

He eyes me up and down, like he can't help it, and suddenly I'm feeling very naked in only a pink and black striped robe.

"What are you looking at?" I ask exasperatedly, pulling the sash tighter around me.

_Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby!_

He doesn't react to my question, just asks one of his own. "_Why_ have you been so bitchy lately?"

"I'm not bitchy," I snarl.

"Oh. Just horny?"

"Yes! Exactly!" the words are out of my mouth before I realize.

He eyes me lecherously. "I thought so."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh really? What _did_ you mean, detective?"

"None of your Goddamn business," I spit.

"Your bad attitude is futile, Olivia."

"And why is that?"

"Because it turns me on like you would not _believe_," he whispers, pulling me into his arms. I can feel exactly how turned on he is. And it does _not_ help my situation. I swallow thickly and look up into his eyes. His normally ice blue eyes that have darkened to the color of a turbulent sea. I lick my suddenly dry lips, hoping to keep myself from doing something stupid. Elliot groans and pulls my hips tighter against his, if that's even possible at this point. Somehow, I manage to drag myself back to reality and shove hard against his chest.

"God, you're such a _pig_!" I growl, turning away from him and going to the kitchen. I lean up against the counter and realize suddenly what a stupid idea it was. I literally backed myself into a corner. He follows me and with a smirk and a wolfish grin, grabs me around the thighs and throws me over his shoulder like a fucking sack of potatoes.

"You _asshole_! Put me down right fucking now!" I growl, pounding at his back. I have no idea what he's planning, all I have is the most amazing view of his ass. "Elliot Christopher Stabler! PUT ME FUCKING DOWN YOU GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH!" The carpet changes color and I can smell the "Home Sweet Home" Cachet candle on my dresser. Fuck. He brought me in my fucking bedroom.

"I can't believe you just middle named me. Not to mention took the Lord's name and said such a reprehensible thing about Laura Stabler in the same sentence," he says and I know he's wearing that God damn smirk.

"Then fucking put me down!"

All of a sudden, I'm flipping back over his shoulders and my king sized mattress is rising up to meet me. I bounce lightly on the bed, my hair covering my eyes. I push it out of the way with a huff and glare up at him. "Happy?" he asks.

"Thank you," I growl, making a move to leave.

He pushes me back down and grabs hold of the tie to my robe. The friction of it against his shirt during the trip into my room loosened it considerably, and he barely has to touch it to make it fall open.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Chilling you the fuck out," he growls, yanking me to the edge of the bed.

"Let go of me!" I growl.

_You stop me in my tracks  
My heart pumpin' to the max  
I'm such a sucker for your eyes  
They permanently paralyze  
Whatever you do..._

_Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby!_

"I hope you don't mean that, Olivia," he says, trailing his fingers softly down my leg, stopping at my foot and propping my ankle over his shoulder. "But if you do, all you have to do is tell me, and I'll stop," he promises.

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. Not to mention that I want him so bad I know it'll take me about five seconds to come. And I need a good orgasm more than I need my next breath.

He smirks again, and kneels down at the edge of my bed, pulling my other leg over his shoulder and yanking my hips toward him. He doesn't waste any time, doesn't make promises, doesn't finesse me, just gives me a kiss right where I need it the most. "Oh fuck," I groan as he licks me softly.

"So tell me, Liv. Have you been this wet just since I got here, or did you get started without me?"

His dirty insinuation only serves to make me hotter and I just buck my hips at him in response.

"You wouldn't have lasted much longer this wet," he babbles, and I wish he would shut up and fuck me.

"El," I whine.

"What would you have done if I hadn't shown up? Would you have taken matters into your own hands?" he asks nastily.

"Eeeeventually," I whisper.

"I'd like to see that sometime," he requests, and goes back to work on my heat. He flicks his tongue quickly back and forth over my clit, making me writhe on the bed in anticipation. He changes his pace and laps at me slowly, alternating between that and the torture of my clit.

I slide my fingers into the short hair on his head and grip tightly. "Pick one," I growl. He pauses for a moment and chooses the quick assault on my clit. "Good choice," I whisper, knowing this will make me come fast and hard, just what I wanted. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I feel a shudder run through my body just before my hips fly off the bed of their own volition as I come. "Ohhhhhhhh, Ellllllllll. Elliot. Elliot. Elllllllllllllllllllllliot," I groan, arching my back and clenching my teeth in agony. He kisses the tops of my thighs and licks at the dampness between.

"You taste so good," he whispers, letting my legs drop back over the edge of the bed. He stands and offers me a hand. "Better go get your lasagna."

"Fuck the lasagna," I growl, pulling him down on the bed next to me. "And please. Please fuck me."

_(Whatever you do, don't do that to me)  
You got my heart under attack  
You give me shivers down my back  
D'ya have to walk the way you do?  
I get weak just watchin' you  
Whatever you do..._

_Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby!_

_Don't do that-don't do that_

A/N: Well? Think I was up to the smut challenge?


End file.
